A Happy Day!!!!!

Our son is of a closed adoption. Unfortunately, in the late 80's that was common and open adoptions were a dime a dozen and not understood like they are now. I wish that I would have known more about open adoption.

I've been preparing our son to one day meet his firstmom "D". I still remember her smile and sweet persona the day we met her. A day that will live in my heart and be forever etched in my mind.

I called the agency when he was 15 and talked with a worker there who pulled his file for me. I wanted to know if "D" had been in contact with them and if I could send some pictures and such. They informed me that she had not contacted them after the first year or two of the adoption. It saddened me in alot of ways because once I reconnected with my birthfamily I realized that I didn't want our son to wait 37 years like I did to once again meet his first mom and family that I knew would be wondering about his whereabouts, health and just plain well being. It was then that I found out that the mutual contact age agreed upon was 21 and not 18 (not that 18 mattered). I immediately changed it. Although I wanted "Anytime" replaced with 21 they told me that they set it at 18 but would contact me immediately if "D" showed interest.

I then told our son what I had done and he informed me that he had no interest in reuniting and was more concerned about puberty and high school. I guess in a way I understood because puberty and teenage years really suck. You're no longer a child and not quite an adult. It's a trying time to say the least. So I once again had to put that thought of reunion on the back burner in my mind. My hubby finally said "honey it's your dream not his". And then it hit me... He's right!!! It is my dream and I want it to be his.

Now our son is 17 and I brought up the subject again. His answer was "okay mom, once I'm in college you can make the arrangements". Then I explained to him what I told the agency about how she was welcome to call us if she ever contacted them. I told him ""A" you may just get a call from your firstmom any day". The nice thing is it didn't shock him, anger him or anything. But I did see a little smile and my heart just melted because I realized that it's his dream as well.

Oh Happy Day!!!