Reunion... What have I learned...

I've been reunited with my birthfamily for almost 11 years now. I've learned that the way you were raised may be different but that you need to have understanding, compassion and alot of patience. Reunions are an emotional rollercoaster with no end.

When I first decided to look for them I knew that I had a 50/50 chance of being accepted or rejected. I was one of the lucky ones where I was accepted. Although I found some similarities, there were alot of differences. Differences that I can accept and ones that they accept but...

I've also learned that I needed to draw lines and boundaries. I'm also learning that it's easy for me to walk away and not look back to some of them. Sad but true.

There's lots of blogs about adoptees with their stories and the emotional side of their reunions. Some happy, some sad, and some downright mad and bitter. Everyone will have an emotional side to their reunion. Some blogs where they walked away from one family because of the "genetic" factor in their lives. This just doesn't make sense to me. I need both families in my life. They complete my life. I've answered my questions of my adoption. That was the original intention wasn't it? To get answers.

So what have I learned....

I've learned that although I was raised by another family other than my biological one, genetics aren't everything. There's enough love for both families and that it's okay to have boundaries when it comes to religion, politics, ways of thinking, etc. The emotions I have and the decisions I make are my own and not governed by either family.

My son will one day meet his biological family. When he does I'm sure that he'll set his own boundaries and have his own kind of emotions. That's the norm for us adoptees. I know that's one thing that worries him and I tell him that it's okay.

Yep, I've said it before... Adoption is an emotional rollercoaster. But as an adoptee you make your life and no one controls it but you.