Why bash adoptive parents?

I think the thing that angers me the most is posts that bash adoptive parents. It must make them feel good to do this because they seem to get a big holier than thou attitude about it.

Adoptive parents go through their own pain. Unless you walk in their shoes you will not understand. Just like I will not understand the pain of a birthmom because I haven't walked in their walk. But as an adult there needs to be a respect for one another in the triad. I see two sides of the coin. I know what it's like to be adopted and I know what it's like to adopt a child.

If my birthmom talked the way some of these birthmom's talk on line I would have no respect for her. It would show me that she is more concerned about her feelings. Being a parent does not mean that you have to give birth but it's the raising, nurturing and love that you have for that child.

My husband's grandmother (on his father's side) died at a young age leaving 3 boys behind. Instead of his grandfather raising the boys they were sent to be wards of the state (one being my husband's father). Was it because there was no family? NO... Was it because he couldn't take care of them? NO... It was because he was a mean "bastard". My husband remembers his grandfather beating up his 3rd wife on the front lawn. He remembers how mean he was to my husband and his brother. He remembers how mean he was to his other children from his 3rd wife. So, what's the excuse there? Those boys were left in a boys home until they came of age. Some life, huh? His father even had alot of animosity towards the situation. I never really got a chance to talk with him about it but the stories I hear would curl your hair. Don't you think that they deserved a family to love them?

So why all the animosity?

It just doesn't make sense to me. I understand the BSE era. I get that. But why the anger all these years? Why take it out on the adoptive parents? What would have happened if there was no such thing as adoption yet the same rules applied as far as keeping the child? What would have happened to the child? Certain countries have the 1 child rule. Would you be able to do away with that child knowing that the government would not allow you to keep it? Remember there's no such thing as adoption so what do you think would have happened to that child? I guess I should be greatful that I'm alive. The world's population would be much smaller than it is right now.

Makes one wonder doesn't it.

Some blogs you will find them using the excuse of adoptive parents abusing and killing their children. This is definitely wrong and they shouldn't be parents. But what about the natural mothers who do the same thing? Does that make it okay? Let's ask little Caylee Anthony. Oh that's right she's sleeping with angels right now.

Not all people should be parents. But there's some that can't raise their children because of whatever reason and some that want families and can't for their own reasons. Neither should be criticized because it's the child that we should be concerned about.

My son is my world. He's one of the best things that came into my life. Maybe it was a little easier because I knew how to deal with questions and such. I love him unconditionally and although I don't agree with everything that he does, he is his own being and makes decisions that's best for him now that he's grown. I accept things and support him.

I'm proud to be an adoptive parent. I'm proud to be an adoptee. I'm proud of the person that I became. There's a reason for everything. Fate has a way of waking us up.