Where does one start!!

I've thought about starting a blog for quite some time. A place where my story can be told and yet it's my choice whether people are able to view or even comment on it.

There's so much to say and so much running through my brain at this point. It's hard to know where to start. But I guess the beginning would be the best.

The internet is a wonderful tool for work, play and even education. I look back and think about how things were done before the internet was even conceived as an idea. Now with the push of a few buttons you can learn a new language, educate yourself on politics, get the morning news all over the world and even meet friends and foes on line.

Now you may ask, meet foes?

Sure.... I've met plenty on line in the last 2 years. Although I wouldn't call them foes exactly. If you google at any computer you'll come up with hundreds and maybe thousands of sites that have to do with one subject. And that's what I did. I googled "adoption". I was amazed at the sites that I found. Some were interesting, some were educational and some (I hate to say) were hateful. I was amazed by the bitterness of some when it came to adoption.

I read and read through many sites trying to makes heads or tails out of some. I was amazed at some of the stories. Stories that were from the heart. There were stories where I saw myself as an adoptee. There were stories where I saw myself as an adoptive mom. Then there were stories where birthmothers poured their heart out on the screen. It was the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. There were happy stories where some were content with their decisions. Some where they were sad and miserable. Then there were some stories that were beyond belief and these birthmothers saying how they were going to "kidnap" their children back and that all adoptive parents were evil kidnappers and such. I couldn't believe it.

I understood their anger and even empathized with them. They said that they had a brandished letter on their chests for the rest of their lives. That society took their children without their permission. That the system and all adoptive parents thought nothing more of them but old crack whores and drug addicts. I kept getting this vision of people standing over them with a gun held to their head while they held their children and smoked crack. Sorry, but that just DID NOT happen. But that's how they perceived themselves. But yet again blamed that on society.

It was weird but if you were not a miserable adoptee, birthmother or an adoptive mother willing to turn over her child back to the birthfamily then you were branded a troll and evil person not worthy of their attention. It was like world war III on the computer.

What I couldn't understand was that they brandished me because I was an adoptive mother, but they never took into consideration my other title of adoptee. I knew how some of the adoptees felt there, but because I am content and happy with my life and have a wonderful loving relationship with my adoptive and birth families, I'm not normal. I don't fit into the book "Primal Wound". That book annoys me at most.

These groups used and continue to use outdated material. Unfortunately, it is true that in their day society did have a different view of adoption. One that was coersive and kept hush hush. There's no doubt about that. And I believe firmly in reform of the system and open records for our children. However, the open records issue has it's pitfalls. It really concerns me that after reading at these sites and how some of these birthmothers want to turn back the clock with their relinquished children, that the open records should be issued to the adoptees only. The birthmothers were there when they were born. They know the date and all the information on it so why do they need a copy anyway.

Yep, some of these groups are wild, unbelievable, sad and downright comical in writing. So, I come down to the question of this post - Is Adoption a friend or foe?

To some it might be a friend. And others it will always be a foe. I guess it really depends on what end of the spectrum you're standing. To me - like my birthday, I was born on the cusp so I guess I'll always be on both sides.